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April 15, 2005

Obscurity, notoriety and (lack of) anonymity: More than just a little ditty (of a blog)?

What happens when someone starts reading? Here's the scenario:

You've always thought of yourself as a writer, maybe even a poet. Even so, you're often your only reader. Access is an issue of course, since you keep your esoterically bound (covers and content) stacks of journals pretty much to yourself. Oh sure, you might from time to time partake in the folly of reading a poem you think is insightful to your mother (only to instantaneously realize the error of your ways as she begins to question her "good mother" qualities rather than revel in whatever small family quirk you thought you had rather cleverly replayed on the page -- Mental note to self: be sure to call Mom in the morning and tell her you love her before she reads this post). You might even, if you are terribly bold, share something you've written with, let's get crazy here, your life partner (only to instantaneously realize that you should get over yourself because, mirroring your own perpetual egocentricism, everyone, especially your partner, thinks your stories are really all about them -- Carly Simon on repeat since 1973!)

This is your writerly life: you are cruising along in total (I mean not even in the neighbourhood of relative) obscurity and then... You start to blog!

It seems innocent at first. You pick a title, a theme, give yourself some parameters for the what and when. And you start to write. It's painful at first. What should you write? Who are you writing for? When do you fit writing (and reading) blogs into your schedule? What does it mean? And then, gradually, it gets a little easier. You get some feedback. You're no Grrl. In fact, hardly anyone comments at all, not on-line. But the strangest things begin to 'appen!

You get an e-mail from your cousin (yeah, okay, it was my cousin, but I have TONS of them, so s/he is still anonymous). Your mother (yes, she reads your blog, she is your mother after all, and yes, she will have read the above comment -- you think you'd learn, but then again, there was that obscure report card comment from your Grade 4 teacher about your irregular attendance and... something about paying attention wasn't it?), right, your mother, calls to tell you she got it, or she didn't get it, or she's still thinking about it... You're out with a group of friends and someone makes a comment about your blog (look, there's another reader, right there!) You start thinking maybe you've upgraded your neighbourhood. Now you're living somewhere between Complete & Total Boulevard and Relative Avenue. And the next thing you know...

You're an informant! And a Canadian one at that! Now all of a sudden the philosophical conversation you've been carrying on in the blogsphere for the last few days about anonymity has taken on a whole new meaning... Sure you were excited when In Favor of Thinking and Dean Dad gifted you with new food for thought -- isn't that the reason you've signed up for this intellectual game?? And granted, things seemed pretty rosy when Janet thought you might be onto something. And suddenly, Day 3 post-post, you're an informant. Go figure.

So what does it mean? Well, I confess (not so secretly since I just posted it here) to a bit of small p political satisfaction knowing that someone other than me, my Angus-raising brothers and oh yeah, most all the cattle farmers in Canada, is willing to see that this mad cow thing is, well, mad! But really, I am a city girl at heart, and I care more about the hegemonic economics of "Free" trade than I do about bovines (mad or otherwise). Furthermore, we mustn't forget that egocentric tendency. The real concern is this: My next conference State side is only three weeks away. Now that I'm a "Canadian Informant" will the US Customs Agents believe me this time when they ask if I've brought my 93 year-old grandmother any beef and I answer (honestly) "No"???

I'm thinking maybe Mel and Dean Dad and the other pseudos among us just might be on to something! Then again, I've never been one to shy away from a little border crossing banter ("No Sir, Y'all don't want our beef.") To be continued... L:)

Posted by lace at April 15, 2005 12:48 AM

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Comments

Posted by: Janet Stemwedel at April 15, 2005 01:20 PM

Posted by: Lace at April 15, 2005 03:58 PM